oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Randomize