Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
