honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
