I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
