Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
