Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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