just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
wat bout pragnant strippers??
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
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