I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
