Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
