moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
