shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
