i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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