They have a pepper shaker for pot.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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