apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
The air taste purple.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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