Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
PANTIES FOUND
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
