i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
you never un-have a 4some
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
