So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
COCAINE IS GR8
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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