YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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