So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I need a burrito and a hug.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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