I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
tell me about the fingering
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
