I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
