Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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