He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I don't want my vagina anymore.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
