I was born with a shot glass in my hand
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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