What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Randomize
