you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
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