Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize