so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Randomize
