im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize
