i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
