Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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