He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Randomize
