And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
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