I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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