Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
