Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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