Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
