I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
