i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
i need some magic done to my vagina
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize