I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
