The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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