I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
