Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
