I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
