Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
