Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
