i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
false alarm. still invincible.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
