You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
