all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I'm just crazy horny about you
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
