i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Randomize
