better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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