dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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