he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
