The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
