I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Enjoy the penises
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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