Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize