I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
