She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
