Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
