matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
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