i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
