maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
